CHANGE

happens in jobs, families, relationships, businesses, churches, and other environments. Change can be good and make things better, indifferent (neither good or bad, just different), or can be bad, making things harder or sadder. Change can be another word for opportunity. Change is always nerve-racking and/or scary, even good change.

Change can be small and seemingly insignificant, such as driving a different route to a place you go often, rearranging furniture, or ordering something other than your “usual”. Change can also be huge. Some change you have a choice in, other change is thrust upon you, it does not ask, it does not wait for perfect timing.

2020 was a year of ginormous change that barreled right into my life without care or consideration. I had absolutely NO choice in the matter. If given the choice I would have NEVER agreed for a disease to attack me……EVER. Once the crap (please excuse the less than intelligent word, sometimes there are no intelligent words for a situation) invaded my body, I had many decisions and choices to make, but in the disease itself, I had no choice. Change, lots of change, was going to happen, ready or not, and I was NOT ready.

I went through surgery, chemo, and losing all my long, thick, beautiful hair. My hair was the only thing I ever got complimented on. I rarely went a day that someone, even complete strangers, didn’t compliment my hair. Afterward I had daily radiation treatments. Laying all alone, exposed and vunerable on a table while being cooked from the inside out, wondering if the treatment that is going to help, is in fact in the long run going to cause the same disease in a different area because it’s radiation.

The end of 2020 brought something called parathyroid surgery. I never knew there was a thing called a parathyroid. I found out we actually have four of them. One of mine went rogue and had to be removed. Two weeks after that surgery, I lost my taste and smell. Yep, you guessed it, I got covid. I whole heartedly believe I got it during surgery.

I had gone into 2020 excited like so many others. The year of “perfect vision”. My reality, however, was more like the old saying, “hindsight is 2020”. I was tested like I had never been before. At first I said it was and epic FAIL. I fought with God, fights I started. I was dragged into fights with the enemy of my soul. I was in some dark, lonely, very scary places in my mind and spirit. I am now 14 months past my last chemo treatment and 11 months beyond radiation, and the “hindsight” is kicking in. I can now see how God protected me through all the treatments radiation, and even Covid. I may write about all that another time.

We are now half way through 2021, where does the time go? I have had all my third set of 6 month tests and still have a clean bill of health. That is a blessing, one that I do not want to take for granted.

This last half of 2021 is bringing more, huge changes. One I chose, the other, not my choice. It is not a secret that I have been very unhappy at my j.o.b. for a very long time. Well, this is my last week here. I am changing jobs. I flucuate from excitement, to terror. From, “yay, I do not ever have to come back here again”, to “what have I done?”. I know leaving is the absolute right choice. As far as the new job, only time will tell.

The other ginormous change in 2021 is moving. I have been told I need to vacate this adorable house by the end of the year. It is not anything I have done wrong as a tenant. It is medical on the part of the family I rent from. I have no choice in this. Change is here again.

What I do have a choice in is how I handle all the change. First I have been praying the best I can and often. I am not the best “pray-er”, but I keep going. I also pull out and read again, Who Moved My Cheese by: Spencer Johnson M.D. It is a short and simplistic read, but not simple. I recommend this book be added to every personal and business library. It is worth reading a few times a year.

I have often said in my posts I like music, it sooths the soul. Here are some songs about change I hope you enjoy.

I’ve been afraid of changing because I built my life around you. The “you” can be anything we humans build our lives around: career, house, cars, relationships, locations etc….

He is one of my favorite singer, song writers. So much of his music got me through 2020. This song is all about change.

Here’s praying my hopes and dreams are born again.